Sometimes people say they are jealous while actually they mean they are envious. Envy and jealousy are two different things. Envy is wanting something others have such as: good looks, stuffs, characters, achievements. Jealousy : feeling threatened others would take away someone from you.
Once again: envy involves two persons, jealousy three. Both emotions are attached to the color green in English. You know this expression; green with envy or jealousy. When we look further, green also represents toxic. That is what envy and jealousy is, toxic states of mind which drag you down in a spinning spiral.
I came up to write this because I have been noticing what some people write online (comments, updates, tweets etc.) about how jealous or envious they are of something/someone. I am fully aware some of them use this expression as a term of colloquialism. The way I see it, it seems like this is another way of complimenting those to whom they say ‘I am jealous or I am envious’. It is familiar and quite normal to use, isn’t it? However I can’t help by reading this literary.
Allow me to spread the reasons people are envious about and how to deal with them:
Envious about others’ good looks? Ok, to have that killer body one must exercise and adjust the diet. If you are envious about this, what holds you back to start exercising? You see, it is easy to scream ‘I am envious of X or Z because of their body’ but remember they put some effort to look like that. If you are willing to invest or even change your lifestyle to achieve such body, go on then.
Another source of envy is beauty. Hmmm, twenty years ago I perhaps would say that 5% – 10% of people on earth, the beautiful ones, have won a lottery in the gene pool. Nowadays plastic surgery has more and more accessible, not to mention that make up and hair can enhance the appearance. Regarding beauty, at the end it is in the eye of the beholder, right? I mean beauty standards change all the time.
Let me be frank about this: wanting stuffs other have what you can not have is tormenting. Stop doing this unless you are willing to work harder to be able to purchase the stuffs you want. Or change your attitude to be grateful with what you have.
Whether academics, career wise or in the society, achievements come after years of hard work. Envious people only see the bright side of achievements; authority, benefits, privileges even fame but one doesn’t receive an achievement as a sudden gift. Behind achievements there is a long, narrow path, filled with offerings, sweat, blood and tears.
It is hard to live a life feeling unfulfilled and projecting yourself against others who are in your eyes, more succesful, more beautiful than you. Little do you know, the people you are envy of, might be envious of others too. I know, it is an endless vicious circle.
So, this is my food for thought today: try to bend the variations of envy into inspirations. Instead of feeling envious, ask yourself when you notice envy swirling up; if he/she can have/do it, why can’t I? Then find a way how to do it. If you refuse this, just accept that in life, you can’t have it all. It is human nature to always wanting more and more, leaving those who can’t deal with it, unsatisfied with their life.
Relating to this post and the behaviour: choose your words wisely as their connotation might influence you and make you act like it. Otherwise be careful, the green monster will swallow you.