It is quite interesting to observe how the society defines several norms which become the norms. When you don’t commit to them, you are weird, you are deviant. Or worse, you are required to explain why. The norms I am talking about here are: getting married/steady relationship and having children, not one or three but ideally two children. Who the hell had defined in the first place that two children should be the norm? And most importantly based on what?
I have heard from friends who deliberately have chosen to stay single or childless that they get tired of being asked why. They have their own personal reason to do so. Me, I am happily married and a loving mother of one daughter. And that last one doesn’t fit to the general norm of one loving family with two children. Some people dare to insinuate me to try to get pregnant again because according to them G (my daughter) needs a sibling. How lonely she must be because she is the only child. Not to mention the existing stereotypes about being the only child namely: spoilt brat and selfish. Those are reasons I heard from the child’s point of view. And here are a number of remarks I have received as a mother of one child. Some people wonder whether I am happy because I only have one child. Some might perceive me as a selfish mother who prefers to work fulltime over mothering a second child.
Doesn’t it occur to some them that having one child or more than two children is a choice? It could be a well-thought one or even forced by the circumstances. All I can say is that the number of children doesn’t define how happy you are as a parent. I am not less happy than other mothers with two children. It is the concerned parents themselves who experience it personally. And most of all it is nobody else’s business.
Image is courtesy of Freepik