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Agree to disagree

Discussion can go out of hand. This is a form of communication where all aspects pass by. Therefore here are some basic tips I gathered after a thorough observation at work and in my spare time.

Stay on topic
First and foremost: stay on topic. Don’t drag the discussion to another subject even if that has something to do with the topic. Stay focused otherwise the discussion will wander around without a clear end.

The truth is relative
Sometimes people in a discussion say “I heard that ….” and see this information as the truth. The truth is relative. What you believe is the truth, is not for others unless you can support this with a valid source or better with valid data. However if the discussion is about how you feel, it would be difficult to convince others because it has to do with how you see things. There is a broad range of perception or view on how people see one same thing.

Let them speak
Let the other finish before you speak. Let them make their point clearly. And focus on what you have to say. Do not only hear but listen carefully.

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Avoid getting personal
Some participants in a discussion get personal. This is mean and unnecessary. Their remark could be about physique (example: fat ass, ugly face etc…) or how the other is in their eyes (example: dumb, ignorant even calling someone a racist). Spare your time and energy if you meet people like this, end the discussion politely without doing the same thing.

Respect
You earn respect but can’t force it. If you respect the other, show it. Do not expect others to respect you because YOU THINK you are; older, more intellectual, more experienced etc. Respect does not have anything to do with that.

Keep your voice down
Offline it means lowering your voice, online means no excesssive use of caps lock & punctuation. Excessive use of caps lock and punctuation only decrease the meaning of the message you send.

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Open
Be open for other people’s opinion.
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Discussion or debate is to express one’s opinion. In ideal situation the goal is convincing the other. You know then the point of view of your discussion partner and you can’t change that. When this doesn’t work, see this and end the discussion. You agree to disagree.

13 thoughts on “Agree to disagree

  1. We once loose the debate competition we believe it was because we couldn’t keep our voice low, i wish we knew this tips earlier. Speaking about debate i love The Great Debaters film.

  2. Terima kasih banyak tips nya mba Yo🙂 Masih butuh banyak belajar soal ini, listen to understand jadi highlight nih buat Py..

  3. True! Agree to disagree,
    Sometimes its difficult because people most of the times wanted to be heard, wanted to be the center of attention, to get respect, etc.

    But yes…we can learn…
    Nice post mba yo🙂

    • Thanks Jo. Most people believe their truth is the truth and expect others to accept it. Difference of opinion should not be an obstacle to discuss matters.

  4. Not sure how the Europeans are, but here in North America, I can see the difference between Americans and Canadians (only in my opinion), the Americans tend to express on what are they thinking to gain the respect but sometimes it goes the other way:):) (pengalaman di tempat kerja).

    Some people are just not a good listener, they always have something to say about anything even if sometimes are out of the context.

  5. Well noted mba, pembicaraan yg ga fokus sama topik biasanya cuma bakal jadi merembet kemana2, dan memang biasanya ga akan ada habisnya dibicarain karna ga jelas yang mau diomongin.
    Dan setuju banget kalau lagi diskusi tapi suara meninggi malah jadi terkesan ga bisa kontrol diri dan jadi ga jelas pesan apa yg mau disampein. Masih harus banyak belajar, tapi ini tipsnya bagus bgt. Thanks mba yo🙂

  6. Pingback: 30 ways to lose an argument | Chez Lorraine

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