about me / English / Family / Parenting / Women

Mirror mirror on the wall

My joy of having a teen daughter is that I can carry a proper dialogue like I had with G yesterday. We were watching a tv show. Most of the time we commented about the actors and actresses in it. We paid good attention to acting, face, make-up & clothes they wear as usual.


Out of the blue G said “I can’t understand the concept of the most beautiful woman in the world. All women are beautiful in their own way. Most of all it is ridiculous to define female beauty based only on one race, Caucasian. As I believe each race has its own specific beauty features”.

I was stunned hearing this. For a couple of second I needed to digest her statement. Relieved as I was, I said that I totally agreed with her. G is 12 year old FYI. She is on her first year at the junior highschool. Apparently she has learnt to speak up her mind clearly.

Beauty equals youth
Then I asked her whether youth represented beauty. She did not agree. I fully quoted G on this. According to her women from all ages are beautiful. Even those old ladies whose face is full of wrinkles. The key is to dress accordingly. And one important thing is the make-up. Wearing thick make-up won’t transform a woman to be more attractive. Excessive daily make-up covers the natural beauty and makes someone looks like a transvestite.

Body talk
I was enjoying our conversation so much. G was apparently at ease. She kept on talking. Then I asked her about the ideal body. This is her answer. Some women are blessed with a beautiful body, some not. My view about body conciousness is as long as they are healthy, happy and comfortable with their on body, who am I to define which size is the ideal one.

G then pointed at me. “Mom, for your age I find you beautiful despite of your little belly. But you are a middle aged woman and you had bared a child, me. You don’t need to lose weight. I know you wouldn’t either cause I can see you are comfortable with your weight”.

And that was it for me! I hugged her and was really proud of her. Her point of view about beauty is more than I would expect from a 12 years old girl.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

G would probably reply, no one.

Ok, I am not a mommy blogger, never intend to be but hearing such wisdom from someone that young, touched me. Therefore I share it here. Perhaps my husband and I succeeded in raising her with the idea of not judging people by their physical appearance. They are born with it.

Of course as her parents, my husband and I find G beautiful. However we both agreed not to tell her this that often. We don’t want her to grow up, knowing she is beautiful, thinking everyone must find her beautiful. And worse, that she would think, with her beauty she could get most things done in her life.

I am now relieved and content that our conversation yesterday showed me G has this healthy point of view regarding beauty and body issue. I am waiting for more topics to discuss with her.

Featured image is Girl in a mirror by Roy Lichtenstein.


26 thoughts on “Mirror mirror on the wall

  1. Wow! What a thought G! Bisa punya pemikiran seperti itu sungguh keren bngt mba Yo…n u must be so proud of her. Its true n agree with her…..will teach My G too about that…say Hi to ur G mba Yo!

    • Iya Jo. Aku ngga nyangka dia mikir sedalem itu padahal masih muda banget. Of course I am proud of her but she still has a journey of life ahead of her. My husband and I have to guide her to some point and time would come that we need to let go of her.

      I will send your regards to G. Thanks Jo.

      • Yes masih pnjang ya mba yo the journey of being parents… *btw aku ngetik4 sambil megangin mixer…ngetiknya disingkat2 :))*

  2. Salam kenal mba Yo,
    Keren sekali deh kata2 your G,
    Saya yg uda 23thn aja ga sanggup mgkn menjawab seperti dia..brb mw merenungkan pandangan G mengenai physical appearance dulu πŸ™‚

  3. woooow G keren banget mba yo bisa punya pemikiran kaya gitu diumurnya, semoga aku bs lebih ngajarin anakku hal2 baik juga deh biar someday dia bisa wise juga menilai segala sesuatu kaya G :))))

  4. Woooooow.. I strongly agree with G.. What a smart girl mbak Yo.. You and your husband have successfully raised her. So proud of her idea. I feel so proud of her, teenager with excellent idea of beauty. πŸ™‚
    Always be a wise girl G πŸ™‚

  5. aku setuju banget sama kata-kata G mbak Yo.
    You must be really proud and happy to hear that wise comment from your teenage girl mbak Yo πŸ™‚

  6. Bravo G!!! It is only the beginning of her teenage years but she has a good mind and thinking on woman and beauty already. I can only imagine my K will be like yours. She’s 8 has a strong mind of her own, we will find out. πŸ™‚

      • Yeap, i will keep you updated. For sure we need strong girls/ women in this society these days! You must be proud of G.

  7. Kagum bgt sama G. Saat tiener lainnya masih sangat peduli sama yg tampak luar, G bisa ngeliat lebih jauh dan dalam dr itu. β™‘β™₯β™‘β™₯

  8. kaya Gilmore Girls yah emak anak inii hehe… she has ypur smile mbak, and her dad’s eyes.

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