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My Life Guide

One of my blogger friends, Anita from Finally Woken, wondered on Twitter where most bloggers on her blogroll have gone. There was a time, almost two years ago, when the threads were posted regularly. The conversations were interesting and alive. I have met most of the bloggers on my blogroll in person as well with whom I keep contact through Facebook and Twitter.  Answering Anita’s question, I opted to start a thread by tagging our blogger friends in order to stimulate the writing and discussing. Coincidentally, Therry has written a tag post about The Life Guide. She has inspired me to write mine.

Here are my own top 10 Life Guide.

1. Image and Identity
Image here is how you want people to see you. Identity is how people sees you. I suppose you know yourself well to define your own image. How you want people to see you. For identity: ask your family, friends, colleagues and people in your surrounding to honestly tell you how you appear in their eyes. Here are some keywords of what people might tell you: trustworthy, helpful, attentive, open, straight, creative, bitchy, jerk etc. Match your wished image by yourself with the identity. There’s no way all matches perfectly. It’s ok if only most keywords match. If there’s no match, boy you need to dig further to accomplish you self-knowledge. Or worse,  you have a big problem cause you are living an image which doesn’t match your identity at all. Do something about it!

For example: you are convinced you are straight, you think you dare to tell people your own opinion out loud but in reality you prefer to share your opinion with some people before you decide to say it out loud. There’s no match between image and identity in this case. Why I put this on nr 1, cause this is the most important thing. This forms a base to go on further on my list. So you’d better walk the walk and talk the talk.

2. Internet is here to stay
Beware of what you share on the net. Some people are stupid enough to set their very own address on Facebook. I was stupid enough to set the coordinates of my location on my iPhone for my Twitter bio. When I found out how risky it could be, I replaced it with the recent bio. One day I did some webcare about my self. So I googled @yoyen, and guess what? Yes, the coordinates were/are still there, somewhere on the net. For students out there, don’t you ever put your partying pics, drunken on the net. Your future boss might see it and he’d reject your application. Ok, this sounds perhaps a bit weird from me as I’m present on the net. I’m on Wordpress (public), Yammer (fellow colleagues at my company), Twitter (public), Facebook (only for people I know), Flickr (public), LinkedIn (professional relatives whom I know), YM (friends only), MSN (friends and family only), Pingchat (friends only), Whatsapp (my family and friends in Indonesia) and Foursquare (public). But trust me, I choose to share my pics, stories and my location carefully. Because once you have shared something on the net, it stays there, somewhere. And it might be used against you should you have a political ambition later, when you’re grown up.

3. Parenting is overrated
Kids bring their parents joy. I am a mother myself but in my humble opinion parents have overrated parenting lately. I see parents in my surroundings who do everything to/for their kids. One day the kids would grow up. We must let them go to explore the mean real big world anyway. So don’t suffocate them with your pouring (too much) love and attention. By doing this you make your kids either dependent ones or spoiled brats. Remember there were parents before us who were succeded bringing up their kids without overrating parentship.

4. Investing time in friendship
Don’t take your friends for granted. Invest time in your friendship. As good long lasting friendship is hard to find.

5. Take good care of yourself
Meaning, live healthily. Only you are able to take good care of yourself not anyone else. Do some exercise (30 minutes a day is sufficient) or sport intensively 2 times a week. Take a good look on your eating habit. Consume fresh products and avoid junkfood.  Believe me, your efforts will be rewarded when you are in your 30 something. You will notice this on your skin elasticity and your body endurance. Ok, some cheating is allowed, but don’t do this too often.

6. Get a hobby
Get a hobby. Or reinvent the hobby you had as a child. Once you have a hobby, be passionate about it. It brings perspective to your life.

7. What if?
Don’t only wonder what if I did this or that. Just do it. When you fail, at least you have tried. Oh, and don’t whine either, this bores people.

8. It’s your life
As an adult, you are entitled to your own life. So feel free to arrange it the way you like it. Love being single? then stay single. Do you not want kids? Don’t get pregnant, even if your boyfriend/husband/parents want (grand)kids too. Nothing is more pitiful and shameful than taking those life defining decisions without asking yourself whether YOU fully support these decisions.

9. The grass is greener
The grass is indeed greener. Don’t envy others who have what you don’t have. Try to reverse this, perhaps they envy you because of things you have but they don’t.

10. Me time
For the ladies who are peole’s pleaser. You have needs and will too. This urge comes from women’s need to be found nice, friendly and likeable. Believe me, you can’t please everybody. And there are surely people who don’t like you but they don’t have guts to say it on your face. And this is a fact. So, stop pleasing others. Enough said.

 So, there they are. I hope they could be any help for you.


6 thoughts on “My Life Guide

  1. Read these ten commandments with pleasure and thought I might pass the test (though by the skin of my teeth). But it depends on number 3; I really hope that “don’t suffocate them = kids with your pouring (too much) love and attention” is for parents only and doesn’t apply to grandparents :).

  2. Thank you for having read this life guide of mine with pleasure. As for number 3, as a grandparent only this one applies on you ‘Remember there were parents before us who were succeded bringing up their kids without overrating parentship’.

    Furthermore, Grandparents are allowed to shower their grandchildren love, too much love indeed. Cause this is what grandparents do, isn’t it? 🙂

  3. Ah, number 2: very true. I now have a constant worry that my future employer will google me and find a rather unflattering picture of myself, not because I put it ‘out’ there, but because someone has tagged me. Every now and then I google myself, not out of vain, but to check if anything dodgy comes up. Thankfully, nothing, yet. I totally agree that we have to be careful with what we post on the virtual world. Those who see and read might and can react differently, unexpectedly.

    • Unfortunately we can’t control the unauthorized tagging which happens a lot. And no, Googling yourself is what is now called a webcare of personal branding 😀

  4. Is no.9 was intended to counter “The neighbor’s grass is greener”?

    Like Colson, I read your ten commandments with pleasure 🙂

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