The title is a Dutch saying for Divorcing is suffering. This is a hard fact people understand when a couple gets a divorce no matter for what reason the marriage/relationship strands. Supporting this posting and before going on further, I would like to reveal some statistics about the divorce in The Netherlands:
- 1 out of Dutch 3 marriages/relationships (let’s call it this way, cause registered partners have as many rights as married couples) ends up in a divorce
- in 6 out of 10 divorcing couples, there are children involved. The half of this concern children younger than 10 years
- 80 % of the children stay with their mother. As it is commonly believed that children are better with their mother than with their father
- 1 out of 4 children don’t have a contact with their father after the divorce
The third point had been the norm for the judges defining custody (in the benefit of the mother) the last few years. Experts have done some researched and proved this ‘privileged’ for mothers wrong. It became loud and clear: Children are better raised by two parents (my remark: when domestic violence pledged by one of the parents is not, I repeat is not the reason of the divorce). There was a bunch of fathers in The United Kingdom, calling themselves Fathers 4 Justice. Dressing like superheros like Spiderman, Superman, Batman and Robin and by occupying strategic public venues, they beg for political support because they don’t see their children anymore after the divorce. Or in some cases that the ex (mother) cut of f the agreement of seeing the children whenever this suits the mother while the fathers are obliged to pay the alimony monthly.
Now, this movement has grown. And yes, it is not exclusively for fathers but also expanded for mothers who don’t see their children after the divorce. These mothers call themselves The Purple Hearts. Women in the fathers’circle (aunts, grannies) can join Fathers 4 Justice. The Fathers 4 Justice and The Purple Hearts fight for the rights of seeing their children, not only for themselves but also for the grandparents. Their goal is creating a mutual right for both parents, the so called co-ouderschap (co parenting).
People get divorce but for their children they are their parents and will always be. If you speak Dutch you can see Dutch Fathers 4 Justice’s website here or click here for UK’s Fathers 4 Justice website.