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Crying Game

Crying can be categorized in two parts: functional or instrumental. Functional crying is when one feels sadness, pain or happiness. Instrumental crying is when one uses this to get what he wants.

Crying girl by Roy Lichtenstein

Crying girl by Roy Lichtenstein

The first one is loud and clear (including crying during The Champ the movie). The second one is tricky though. Children do this all the time when they want to get something but how can we recognize instrumental crying by Adults? Unfortunately, I don’t have any clue.  

Adults cry mostly for the lost of their loved ones, the broken relationship, self pity or when they desperately look for an answer they won’t find (a sort of powerlessness). After crying, they’d feel relieved. This is exactly the reason why adults cry, the relieve afterwards. But why is crying seen as a sign of weakness while it is useful to regain the body balance? Imagine, when you get very angry but not be able to express it, your body thrills, your voice sticks in your throat, you can’t say anything, then you just ….cry. The found body balance afterwards, after the relieved feeling comes, makes crying worthwhile.

This is why I admire people who dare to cry in public, not that I am the one who do so. On the contrary, I don’t cry that much, do you?

11 thoughts on “Crying Game

  1. I cry a lot. Music and glorious moments can make my tears fall, without me needing to feel sad.

    Once I read somewhere, that women’s strength is actually their ability to cry. It’s one their ways to lift up their burdening problems. After the crying period, they often think clearer. That’s why, usually, no matter how tough their lives are, women survive.

  2. I cry a lot. Like Santi, I get teary watching yo yo ma playing bach, I get teary listening to obama’s speech (and matt santos’). I cry at least once a month now for motherhood related reasons.🙂

  3. I used to not crying that much, but now I do. I dunno why. Age? Location? Any reason that causes this gate to open? Maybe as I grow older, I learn to be more sentimental and sensitive, because back then I was sort of boyish/tomboy kind of tough girl who of course was holding on to the main principle of “tough people don’t cry”

  4. I cry whenever I watch a movie that moves me. I cry when I miss my dad, which is a lot. I cry when I am upset with myself. But no, I don’t usually do it in front of people.

  5. I don’t cry in public, and I don’t cry at work. But I could easily shed a tear over tortured animals. I remember I cried a lot watching the movie about panda in China. And I remember I was more than just crying when I watched Instinct, the movie about gorilla (starred by Anthony Hopkins).

  6. I cry a lot. I cry whenever I watch a movie that moves me, I cry when I see poor people struggling to survive the day, I cry when I’m upset, I cry when I see one’s death, I cry when I see people cry. And I cry in front of my closest circle.

  7. I don’t cry very easily – sometimes I wish I did. It’s not like I’m some heartless person, in fact I’m the most caring person not only to my loved ones but also to strangers. I’m just one of those people who are tough on the outside.

    The other week, my oldest sister cried over the phone after she had a heating argument with my youngest sis. She wanted me to take on her side but I let her cried and still gave my piece of words without hurting both sides. It’s ok to cry but it’s not ok when use crying as a tool of manipulation/as a bluff.

  8. I am the same with Anita – can’t stand seeing animals get tortured, it’ll be waterworks all over the place.

    Can’t believe how cruel humans are.

  9. @ Santi, I think it is about Women who dare to show their emotion more cause ‘Men don’t cry’?

    @ Katadia, music can make you emotional too. Totally agree with you.

    @ The Writer, unfortunately I don’t have the answer whether it is location or your age.

    @ Rima, I used to cry a lot after losing my father in 1999, but then I stopped crying just like that which is strange because this doesn’t mean that I miss him less. The rest of your crying is functional.

    @ Finally Woken, looking at those helpless animals can stir my emotion too.

    @ Ecky, that is quite intimate, sharing your deepest emotion within your closest circle. This due to the comfort you experience.

    @ Elyani, ‘It’s not like I’m some heartless person, in fact I’m the most caring person’ Yes, you are a sweet and most caring person. I haven’t met you off line but by reading your blog & your comments to others, this shows.

    About instrumental crying among adults, when they get that this doesn’t work, they will put everything in the game to get what they want.

    @ Therry, indeed, humans who torture helpless animals are like beasts.

  10. Would it fall under cry category when you got all worked up or overwhelmed and your eyes started to feel warm and some tears were there? I have that illness.

  11. Din,

    I think your example falls under Functional Crying. Crying which is caused by emotional moments. And, I wouldn’t call it an illness though..

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