English / Friendship / Women

Don’t get mad, get everything!

The relationship of a dear friend of mine was ended because her bf cheated on her. She found out about this at 3rd of January this year. The relationship lasted 17 years, where they lived together for the past 15 years. It turned that he began cheating on her from september 2007.

Her reaction at first was disbelief followed by anger because of the cheat. Even I was in shock, they seemed to have a solid relationship. Now, a half year later, she’s doing fine. I’m sure about this, she’s strong & determined to get her life back on track as single lady. She has this capacity to function well at her work despite of this huge relationship problem.

Last week I went to see her. After having dealt with the emotional roller coaster ride, she must stay clear to handle other things such as dividing their joint belongings/property, they both have a good job, nice house and no kids. Meanwhile the ex (it is funny how fast she changed calling him the ex instead of his name) has been demanding her to sell the house immediately after the break up. She is still living there but no..she has no hurry putting the house in the market. Just a month after the break, he had picked up his gadgets (stereo systems etc.) .

She told me that after hiring a female lawyer, she came to the conclusion “Don’t get mad, get everything!”. Ivanna Trump invented this famous one liner when she was divorcing Donald after he cheated on her with a model. To be honest, I didn’t expect my friend to follow this ‘policy’, but she was the one who was cheated on. I warned her tough, if she wants to get everything, be prepare for a long battle. As a friend I can only offer her my support when needed.


11 thoughts on “Don’t get mad, get everything!

  1. Almost every divorce is a personal tragedy – that is especially for the partner who didn’t see the blow coming.

    But, when because of anger, revenge or cool calculation the “victim” wants total financial compensation for emotional damage, paid by the culprit, this policy of “grasp all” in stead of compromising, most likely will not work here. Or may even end in “loose all”, or at least in ‘loose more’ than one should have lost.

    This is not yet the US.


  2. Totally agree with you, that’s why I warned her to be prepare for the long bloody battle.

    They didn’t set a pre nup before living together, 15 years ago. So it would be his words against hers when belongings/properties must be divided.

  3. Oh my….15 years you said?…

    This kind of thing that makes me feeling skeptic about relationship

  4. Lorraine,

    Some men are never satisfied with what they’ve got. I will never in my life understand why men can be so weak. They seem to get tempted so easily. I agree with your friend, don’t get mad…get even by taking whatever she can while the anger is still there. Yeah, this is a no one win situation but I’d rather lose with my head held up than feeling sorry for myself. The game has just started, why quit?

  5. @ The Writer, she didn't see it coming. Don't be sceptical, every relationship is different.

    @ Elyani, it just happened according to the ex! I think some women could also cheated on their husbands/bf. Yep, this is not a material thing but dealing with the anger & let him pay.

  6. @jerry: “policy of “grasp all” instead of compromising”…?

    I guess when someone cheats on you after 15 years of relationship, a comporimising “policy” is the last thing you need.

    I’d say to the woman: Let it all out, go for it! Get mad, get what you can!

  7. Man, that’s strange. I knew a dutch man who broke up with his Indonesian-descent girlfriend after being together for 9 years.

    They actually got married 2 years ago in Singapore, and before I knew what was going on, they broke up.

    When a man cheats, I sometimes wonder whether it’s all the man’s fault or whether the woman has something to do that drive the man away?

  8. @ Katadia. Yep, after 6 months, my friend turned to a cold lady concerning her ex. All she wants is a sweet revenge.

    @ Therry, they are both Dutch origine. You have a point though in your statement.

  9. c’est la vie, i guess. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. but even when it works, it takes a lot of elbow grease, compromise and understanding before it does..

  10. I was hang out with my yummy mommies group last Friday and 1 of them is separated with her hubby because he cheated on her but she’s trying to hold on for her son.

    And I also heard our other friend has divorced because her hubby cheated on her.

    Is it a new trend or something?

  11. @ Rima, thanks for the wise words. My friend can not accepted that she was cheated on.

    @ Ecky, let’s hope not that this is a trend.

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